I’m no fortune-teller, but I can tell alot about someone by how they describe beer.
First off, there’s the all-too-common “mansplainer.” With a larger-than-life ego, the guy next to me at the bar launches into a monologue about what hops do for beer. Yeah, bro, this ain’t my first rodeo! Half the time, it’s an explanation he heard on a brewery tour and now passes off as his own hard-earned intel. Deep down, this guy wants to be an awe-inducing beer expert and thinks I won’t know any better. Wrong!
Next up, the “technical talker.” The person who knows all the industry lingo, what it means, and how to use it in a complete sentence. If I’m trying to kick back with a tasty beverage after a long day, this person gets on my last nerve. Leave the primary fermentation, mixed yeast cultures, and specialty spelt grains for your next Cicerone study sesh, dude. But you best believe I’m gonna seek you out when I need to learn the nitty gritty about crafting a damn-near perfect Wild Ale. Call me a fair-weather drinking buddy, but I can spot a perfect homebrew accomplice when I see them!
If you savor every iota of the beer-drinking experience — from the tunes on the taproom stereo, to the rad brewery glassware, to the single-Galaxy-hopped deliciousness washing over your palate — I call you the “mindful scholar.” Even the less-than-stellar brews have something to teach you about the brewing process. (Or, as you’re apt to say, “it’s more about the beer’s journey than its destination.”) Sure, you enjoy some beer yoga now and again, you say namaste to the IPA, but more than anything, you appreciate the intention of craft, the time and dedication that goes into running a brewery, and you make it a point to support independent beer.
Which type of beer drinker are you? Let’s meet for a drink and I’ll reveal your not-so-secret tendencies. I won’t quit my day job just yet, but I think I’ve found my new calling as a beer-teller. Cheers!
Simply Beeresistible 